Why (and how to) leave a good job
Many of us settle for jobs that are "good enough." A shift in mindset can help us say "Yes!" to more aligned and fulfilling opportunities.
I caught up with a friend this week who is at the cusp of a significant career transition. There are plenty of things she loves about her current job—she’s making a difference, her colleagues are great, and there’s still room to grow. But by her assessment, this job is only a 90% match of what she’s looking for professionally and personally. She is going to resign in search of something even better.
She is where I was less than a year ago. I remember viscerally the angst and paralysis I felt on the path to quitting my “90% perfect job”. One thing I really struggled with was a sense of guilt for having it so good, but still wanting more.
This was the kind of self-talk that swirled in my mind:
“There are plenty of people miserable in their jobs. They just put their heads down and get on with it. Most people don’t even have a choice. And here you are wanting to leave a job because you’re missing the icing on the cake? How ungrateful and greedy are you? Just grow up and suck it up!”
I shared this with my friend and asked if she went through this phase. Her short answer was “No”. I was taken aback by the definitiveness of her answer. “Really? How did you get here without guilt?” I asked with curiosity (and a tinge of envy). Her answer was beautiful, profound and wise.
In essence, what sets my friend apart is the way she lives and embodies deep trust in abundance. I have tried to distill what she shared into three aphorisms:
“Live from a place of abundance” - Guilt isn’t a thing when you’re feeling abundant because you’re not busy comparing yourself to others. Nor are you worried about taking away from others or wanting too much because there’s more than enough for everyone.
With a mindset of abundance, my friend knows that her current job is one of many options. And because she also believes in her own abundance—“I am enough”— she is clear about her needs, and can fully use her skills, strengths, relationships etc to find/create the right opportunities for herself.
“Your “90% perfect job” could be someone else’s perfect job” - This statement really brings to life two principles of abundance: growing the pie and creating win-win opportunities. I love the idea that making the best decision for me (e.g., not settling for “good enough”) can potentially free up opportunities for others to find more fulfillment and joy.
This way of thinking does take awareness and trust. Awareness of who you are, and the interrelatedness between all of us. And trust in yourself and there being a right set of opportunities for everyone.
Imagine if everyone adopted this way of thinking. How much easier would it be for each of us to find our dream job? (And not to mention how energy could we unleash towards meaningful work instead of worrying about others taking our job - you know, the job that we didn’t really want anyway 😉).
“Gratitude is taking full advantage of what you’ve been given” - My friend reminded me of a scene from Good Will Hunting between Ben Affleck’s construction worker character, Chuckie, and Matt Damon’s janitor-cum-math prodigy character, Will. Chuckie tells his best friend, Will: “You're sitting on a winning lottery ticket and you're too much of a pussy to cash it in. And that's bullshit. `Cause I'd do anything to fuckin' have what you got. It'd be an insult to us if you're still here in 20 years.”
Abundance is also about being grateful for, and generous with sharing our gifts and opportunities with the world. Holding ourselves back serves nobody. Living fully is the ultimate expression of gratitude.
Scarcity-me was afraid that wanting more = entitlement or greed. It took a lot of painful unravelling for me to learn that what I needed was not “more”. What I needed was to recognise and embrace the goodness that is here all the time. Along the way, I’ve discovered what my friend inherently knows - that there’s selflessness in finding work that allows us to bring more creativity, empathy and joy into the world.
I hope what I've shared here will save you from some of the guilt, churn and angst I’ve experienced on my journey! Here are a few questions to help you to further apply this wisdom to your own life:
Do you approach career exploration with an abundance or scarcity mindset?
How closely does your current job align to how you really want to spend your precious energy and talents?
What winning lottery ticket are you sitting on—at what cost to yourself and the world?
P.S. The conversation with my friend and what I’ve written here centers around careers. But really, these are aphorisms for life.